Over the past few months, in the midst of a world wind of changes, I have spent time reflecting on why I got married. Was it because I love Jon? Was it because I didn’t want to live life without him? Was it because I wanted to take care of him through sickness and in health? Yes, yes, and yes. But the biggest and the greatest yes, is because I knew that I could have a marriage with Jon that would bring glory to God. THAT is the greatest reason for why I got married. I knew I was a better person with Jon. I knew that Jon would push me and encourage me to be the human God created me to be.
Marriage is not just about you and your spouse, or just about you and your family. As Christians, nothing we do is just about ourselves. There is a much greater picture at hand. Every choice we make will have an impact on God’s kingdom and we have the opportunity to make His name famous in and through everything we do.
I am a huge advocate for setting aside protected time with your spouse… my love language is quality time, so I know the importance of this. But it is also way too easy for us to choose the easy route, to get comfortable, and to not pay attention to those around us who may be starving for a touch from God. We are blessed to bless others and our lives are not our own. Giving up a night on the couch and watching Netflix to help your neighbor may not sound like fun, but I encourage you to search your heart and to ask yourself “Why not?” and to see if your answer is worth not showing a little love and kindness to another human being.
Our culture shows us this American Dream of graduating college, landing the job, getting married, having kids, and having a picture-perfect life where our families are like our own mini kingdoms. The more perfect the family, the stronger our kingdoms seem to be. But, as Christians, Jesus offers us something so much greater than ourselves and because of His great grace towards us, we GET to participate. We GET to participate in His mission of reconciling His people back to Him. We GET to invite our lonely coworker over for dinner and to share a meal with someone who normally eats alone. We GET to foster children and to provide a safe place for them as they journey through a life full of challenges and discouragement. We GET to show up and to show love to those who God has purposefully placed right in front of us. Our kingdoms will crumble, but the legacy we leave behind lives on.
Maybe you are in a season where you haven’t been paying much attention to your spouse and your family, and you really need to focus on them right now. Or maybe you are in a season where you’ve been so focused on your own family that you haven’t even noticed that your next door neighbor has spent the holidays alone for the past 5 years. Regardless of the season you are in, I encourage you to seek God and to ask yourself why you got married. Maybe thinking about glorifying God with your marriage wasn’t on your radar at the time you made the big decision. But it can be now.